New Year's Blog 2016
"It is all here
There is nothing more that humanity needs to hear in order to grow
There will be no new teachings, for they are unnecessary....
you live in a loving universe. All the forces are here to give you assistance
to give you support....."
Emmanuel, "An Overview of the Human Adventure: A Manual for
Living Comfortably in the Cosmos"
So here we are, perched on the edge of a brand new year. For me, it is the continuation of working with mindfulness and awareness, both of which have become an evolving spiritual practice for me. I continue to embrace the ideals of Buddhism and try to live as kindness. People talk about "leaving the year behind". I honestly can say that I wouldnt change the last year at all. So much manifested....and in turn everything that happened was the result of me walking through fear. Almost four years out from my divorce and working to understand the financial spectrum and trying to bring some order to an old chaotic map surrounding money. The more I learn about the map I've been carrying the more I try to show myself kindness and patience. This continues into 2016 with new intentions set. 2015 was a year busy with speaking engagements as well. I sent out energy that would ultimately share my experiences as a 40+-year stroke survivor and that led to the creation of Breathe, Vision and Voice project which I presented 4 times in three states. I've set an intention for this as well in 2016. In the Winter I reluctantly left a job that I loved in search of work that supported my expanding spirituality and better supported me financially. I struggled through two jobs in Spring which didnt "fit" and made me fearful. (that was fun...not) Intentions set on New Years Day 2015 led to a new job in June that I believe is exactly where I am suppose to be and I cant imagine being anywhere else. Many of the Intentions I set in 2015 manifested by the end of the year. The process of getting there required faith and what seemed like Herculean patience. Lots of walking through fear, lots of breathing through panic, lots of meditation. (Many days of "hum sa-ing" my way down Rt 128).
My meditation practice has evolved, and again, feels like something that was always there and a part of me. I am committed to it as a daily practice and it has yielded a confident self. A self with subtleties of great intuition and trust and a kindness that run deep. Stillness brings peace, and stillness brings the ability to be vulnerable and look at others with compassion and trust. Stillness and silence bring a new level of ME that is graceful and quiet. My practice is always with me and I love sharing it with others. My "self" is always evolving.
In photography I've been content to release and let my camera roam as it sees fit, not concentrating on style, but allowing contemplation and emotional storytelling (c). 2015 led me to do more landscape work along side some terrific photographers. I'm deeply interested in what's contained in vast images and sprawling scapes in terms of emotion and feeling. Whatever comes, comes. I continue to believe that my photography is a vehicle for my medical trauma experiences and that it is my fate to share that with others. "Amour Fati", love your fate, if you will. Words to internalize. I've set intentions in 2016 for my photography to be even larger, reach even more people and deliver more kindness.
Living as our authentic self takes a courage All of the "new things" for me, new job ,new relationships, new audiences require me to have a brave heart. The more I open, the more I sit in my practice, the more experiences come my way. I've learned that things are "great" when things are going great, but ultimately it's how you react and how you trust yourself when things go off the rails that determine who you are. Is there absence of judgement? (is there ever?), can you release your ego and look at things with a wide perspective? Can you put yourself in someone elses' shoes with compassion and say "that person is just like me". Can you realize that imperfection is actually divine nature and is the personification of our humanness?
We relate to each other the best when we share our scars. We communicate clearly through kindness. All that is required is that we show up--that we show up for ourselves and breathe. The rest takes care of itself. Yet, we hold back, we doubt, we react, we expect, we struggle. It (Samsara) gives us the perfect opportunity to open and feel, to cry, to get angry, to revisit ourselves again and again. Go inside, go deeper, get scared, feel your heart and visit darkness.
2016 is an opportunity to practice more and more deeply, to be brave, maybe braver than ever before. It's the year we can love even more deeply and trust and leap. It's the year we learn to pause fully and own our reactions to every moment. The choice is always ours.
Just keep sitting and continue to work from a place of gratitude
From author Emmanuel.....
"As the desire to turn to the light increases, the soul knows where the resistance still
rests and takes the responsibility for the exploration of that resistance."
^^ Oh shit....try to not to cling.